Archive for the ‘Spiritual’ Category

Anger and the Dharma

Posted: 03/28/2010 in Social, Spiritual
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/assbach/280561228/

Photo by: assbach via Flickr

I recently had a major test when it comes to dealing with my anger, and I failed. I was having a conversation with someone and it escalated into an all-out verbal war. I lost my temper due to the fact that trying to have fruitful communication with this person is near impossible. Trying to be tactful and articulate is frustrating when being cut off mid-sentence, thus not able to produce a coherent thought explaining my opinion, and it evolves to the point of anger. Also add in the fact that when I do try to talk fast to get my point across, I start to stutter, resulting in mockery by the other person, fueling that anger more. Unfortunately, the Dharma went right out the window, and instead of exercising wisdom in dealing with this person, and practicing mindfulness, I drifted off the path.

Reflect - Self - Reflect

Photo by: kausthub via Flickr

I decided it would be a good idea to meditate on loving-kindness, and develop the intent to be loving, kind and mindful even in times of being walked on and insulted. I am the one in control of my reactions, and it is my responsibility to respond with the proper attitude. Nobody else can control the words that come out of our mouths, it is up to us to be the filter from the thought to the action (word). I believe I learned from my mistake and will be using all of my conscious power to exercise mindfulness in dealing with this person and others with whom I may have similar encounters in the future.

If anyone has any words of wisdom, advice or techniques, comments are welcomed.

Why Am I Here?

Posted: 01/15/2010 in Positivity, Spiritual
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I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately: “Why am I here?” and “What the hell is my purpose in life?” I think about all that I have experienced over the years and sometimes get depressed that I haven’t contributed anything to the world, or to other people. I have focused too much on the negative experiences to remember the positive experiences. My intention is to be someone that helps others, and I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure it out. What skills do I have? What career could I start? What is my passion and how could I use this to help others?

So I figured out that the one thing that is part of my life when other interests (or things I felt I was passionate about) have come and gone: MUSIC

Since I can remember, music has been my passion and has been part of my life. My father was a drummer and singer, my mother plays piano and sings, so I started from an early age in music. I have realized that even though I wasn’t conscious of it at the time, my passion seems to be teaching kids to play music. I used to teach guitar to a boy with autism, as well as some other kids, I have coached the Stairway to Stardom program (a music program that puts bands together and they write songs and have a battle of the bands), with two of my bands winning, so I have recently realized that that may be where I’m supposed to head on my life path – my purpose. I think I’m supposed to somehow be involved with teaching children to play music.

So now that I have an idea of what I’m supposed to do, I would encourage you to do the same. Really examine what you have done in your life that you may not have realized what you could call your passion. Think of the coincidences of situations that have happened, or people you have met, that you may not have realized are really telling you what you should be doing with your life. It may not just be a coincidence, it may be a roadmap to finding out why you are here and what the hell is your purpose in life.

Thanksgiving

Posted: 11/23/2009 in Happiness, Social, Spiritual, Thankfulness
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With the holidays coming up, I have been thinking a lot about Thanksgiving. We all know the history behind it, of course, but do we really know what “Thanksgiving” means? Over the years, holidays have become so convoluted, polluted, and commercialized. The stores start selling decorations and themed food for the following holiday before the present holiday is even over just to get a jump on the sales, and it has turned into a means to industrialize what is supposed to be a time to spend with friends, family, and significant others. To business, then end justifies the means.

But when it comes right down to it, what is the true definition of “holiday spirit?” Rarely does a family just get together to celebrate thankfulness, really appreciating what we have, which is the true reason we should be celebrating “Thanksgiving.” Instead we think about what we don’t have. It has turned into a stressful occasion: Getting up at 3am to put the turkey in the oven and worrying that it won’t come out right, fighting with the family over stupid, petty disagreements, getting to the stores by 4am for Black Friday to be the first to get the newest hot toy of the season that your kid just has to have, etc.

On a personal note, the holidays this year are especially hard for me to endure. For the last seven years, I have been fortunate to enjoy spending the holidays with not only my family, but also my wife’s family. There are certain traditions devoid of the commercialization of the holidays and it’s just the family spending time together, being happy, no stress. With the separation of my wife and I, that will not be happening, and honestly, I’m trying my damnedest to stay positive and really examine thankfulness and what it means. But it’s tough. It hurts that I won’t be able to be with a significant other, sharing love together for the rest of the family, like I’ve been able to do for the last seven years. There is a huge void in my heart, and I have felt very alone, and the holidays make that loneliness so much more apparent. I feel at times I don’t have anything to be thankful for, due to losing my wife and my job at almost the same time.

I have to keep in mind that I do have a lot to be thankful for:

1. I have my family. They aren’t going anywhere, and I have their support 100% in these trying times in my life. Without them, I would be homeless at the end of this year, and no, I’m not being dramatic. That is a cold, hard FACT.

2. I have my son. He loves me unconditionally, and brings so much joy into my life. He has been following in my footsteps by playing guitar non-stop and is wanting me to teach him new things every day. There is a sense of pride there, that makes me feel wanted.

3. I’m alive. I woke up this morning. My health isn’t the greatest, and have a lot of medical problems, but I am thankful for today because I woke up once again.

4. My wife. Even though we are separated, on our way to a divorce, we are still great friends. We talk every day, and rarely fight. I am thankful for that, because I see so many nasty divorces, and I don’t want to go through that. So yes, I am still thankful for my wife, even though this is a very sad time in my life to endure.

On this journey, I have learned that there are changes I needed to make to attain the happiness I deserve. Being thankful, even in the midst of hardships, suffering and potential emotional breakdowns, is one key to attaining that happiness that has eluded me for so long. So this Thanksgiving, even though I am going to miss my mother-in-law’s legendary stuffing, and will be unable to spend the holiday with someone I’m in love with, I will still appreciate being with my son, my mom and step-dad and my sister and brother-in-law and his family, because now they’re all I’ve got, and I’m thankful for all of them.

We need to take the focus off of what we DON’T have, and keep our thoughts focused on being thankful for what we DO have. What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Change Your View

Posted: 11/15/2009 in Positivity, Spiritual
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I wrote recently about changes I am making in my outlook on life. I was laid off from my job a couple of weeks ago, and until today, I honestly had no place to live after the first of the year. Initially, I was just stunned, considering the fact that I have recently become separated from my wife. The shock of that huge change in my life is hard enough, but then I was handed my exit papers and my world just sort of crashed. My attitude was that I had lost everything: first my family and now my job and pretty soon a place to lay my head at night due to no income.

But that lasted only a short time. Thanks to the knowledge I continue to gain from the books I’ve been studying, I have been able to change my mindset, and see the good in these situations. I know that there is a better job out there for me that will make me happy, and I can help people. In fact, I have a second interview tomorrow with a company that does just that!

The old me would be constantly worried and stressed about my current situation in life, but since I have decided to change my view, I have actually been very relaxed about it. I know in my mind that it will all work out in the end and I will be happy with the outcome. I have forced myself to not be depressed about this, because if I let the depression take over (and trust me this used to be easy for me) then I would fall right back into the trap of alienating the people around me who love me and truly want to help.

Thanks to my wonderful family, things have already started looking up, so it is true that if you change your view, you can change your life. Focus on the positive that can come from a negative situation. We always hear these uplifting quotes about positive thinking, but how often do we truly put those insights into our mindset and take action?

I would like to hear from you about how changing your view of a negative situation had a positive outcome!

Wisdom Den

Posted: 11/08/2009 in Social, Spiritual
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I just returned from the first meeting of the Wisdom Den, hosted at Elemental Holistic Healings in Fair Oaks, CA. This is a group social that begins with a guided meditation by Angie Weckworth, then the group discussion is led by Sonia A.

From their site:

“This group is designed to encourage growth and provide inspiration to those who have a desire to reconnect to Themselves, their Highest Self, and to One Another! Based on the understanding that we are ALL ONE at our core being, when we help ourselves we are helping one another and vice versa.”

Every month when we get together, we will be having a guided meditation, then an open discussion of the assigned book of the month. This month we will be reading The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. Almost everyone that was present in tonight’s class has read the book more than once, and I haven’t, so I am looking forward to it and hoping I have something to contribute to the discussion since I am pretty much a newbie. There are some great books on the list for months to come, so I am very excited!

Angie and Sonia are good friends of mine, so when I found out about this, I couldn’t wait. Angie has been a strong influence in my life over the last few months as I have embarked on this journey by giving me a list of books to read, so I knew this would be the perfect venue for me to connect with like-minded individuals. Sonia and I have had some great discussions, and she has been a huge influence on me as well, giving me some priceless insight into my situation, and life in general. Angie and Sonia are amazing women and I’m proud to call them friends!

If you are in the Sacramento, CA area, I would strongly encourage you to join the group. Also, please check out Elemental Holistic Healings, as they offer massage, hypnotherapy, Reiki energy healing, etc.

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